Was that tree there before?  

Posted by Jonathan E Johns in

I make enough mistakes in my life, that having someone else mess with it, and lead me down a path that ends in pain, is something that hurts almost worse. I am one who tends to believe that I am in control (I'm not a control freak who NEEDS to be in control), and that everything bad that happens to me is my own damned fault. But sometimes, rarely, if I might say so, I have to give credit to someone else for hurting me, or leading me to a place where I am more apt to hurt myself.

I say “I was blind to the fact that I was being manipulated, and I should have known better,” but in fact I probably couldn't have known any better. I was sincerely trying hard to make something out of my life, and help someone else. I was blind, but not because I chose to be. I was blinded.

So after being led down this path, and only after seeing the 'dead-end' sign there, did I realize that I had been fooled, that I had been used, manipulated, and intentionally hurt. When I turned to face this 'friend' there was no one there. I guess I had led myself the rest of the way, after passing several paths that could have led me off this one. I see back there the backs of signs that surly must say on their other side, “No Outlet Thru traffic only.”

After sitting on my hands, there at the end of the road for about two weeks, I wiped the tears of bruised pride from my face, and started the long walk back. Somewhere back there I should be able to find my way back to the path of my life. I hope so, anyway. Things have changed on this path, I don't remember seeing that tree there on the left.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 12, 2008 at 8:56 PM and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

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