This was my first blog post on MySpace, First week of December, 2007, recreated here for your displeasure.

The Day I Find My Reason for Living

So.

Hummm..

I am inspired. I have a platform. I find myself in the middle of a courtyard, on a bright sunny day, with lots of people around, and I feel like talking. Maybe someone will listen. or in this case, I am standing shoulder to shoulder with about 450,000 people pressing in on me, and I cannot hear myself breathe over the din of SPIDER PIG! and HAMPSTER DANCE.

And I am going to TYPE, and no one is going to read this.

Yet, I continue to type. So, who here is the loser.

I have avoided the "New" internet for years, because I played this game before, and I lost at it, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I was on AOL version 1.0. It came in the mail on a 1.44" floppy disk, and cost $19.99 per month, PLUS it cost you to be online... You see, I had a month with a $499.00 AOL bill... Back then, e-mails costs... downloading "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" animated Gif's cost money... Just sitting in front of your PC, browsing the "Internet" thru AOL on a Smokin fast 33.3 Modem... well, even that cost money.

But meeting real people, outside of the AOL chat rooms, well, that cost nothing but Gas, or bus fare, and the two drink minimum that the Regal Beagle charged you to listen to the house band butcher yet another version of 'Mr. Jones'

No, that cost nothing. Well, unless you count your ego, your self esteem, your pride... All somewhat worthy things to care about, in an altruistic way, but definately not necesary for survival. I mean look around you. No, really.

Look around you. You have browsed this place, Someone somewhere has tripped over your myspace page, browsed, and purused, asked to be your "friend", then you've visited their Unicorn Love-in, and rolled your eyes...

And without knowing it... You have sent ill-will, and soul crushing vibes thru the internet to some hapless victim, who only wanted to get the same validation out of life that you crave daily. (You know why you roll your eyes, right? You are looking up to see if God is about to catch you being frustrated with one of his hapless creatures who need your help. You are about to, or just did, avoid being a good Sameritan, and you know that if God ain't watchin, you can get a way with it. So you roll your eyes across the skies... Checking to see if you're gonna get caught... being a complete un-helpful, un-compassionate, impatient, tool.)

This place is full of them. As soon as we get someone, ANYONE, other than TOM in our friends list, we move up one position in rank, and we can search and search for those LOSERS with only TOM as thier friend... and feel better about ourselves. That is what this is all about, right? It is a vanity site! Not a friends site... The more friends who want to be our friends... the more vain we become.

I am no different. I have to do this, in order to keep my connections with my real life friends. Who know I am vain, and who know I roll my eyes. But who don't know I write, and who don't know what my "Interests:" are.

Whatever.

My second job is making coffee feel less bitter.

Okay.

On with the show...

1049pm