Never communicate when angry  

Posted by Jonathan E Johns in , ,

We're told to never call, write, e-mail, or text when we're angry. It seems we might say something we regret. Probably right, 'they' are. But gods, the passion that is a byproduct of our anger seems to feed the writer in us, or at least in me.

I am upset right now, about something I will not post here, because I am trying to do what I am supposed to. Not because 'they' tell me so, but because I tell myself the same thing. I can count the number of times I've written or said something that I truly regret on one hand, and every time I could have avoided them by just keeping my mouth shut until I thought about it rationally, and made a decision with a clear mind. I think the notion is that when we're angry we tend to block out the person on the other side of our anger, and their feelings. But after we've calmed down, we begin to re-assess how the other(s) must feel, and we tend have some compassion for the situation. Time, it seems, gives us perspective.

But Artists, well, some seem to feed on the passion, the anger. They are most creative when most passionate; from love passion or hate passion. And letting the feeling 'pass', so to speak, is like letting the muse leave a message. Or waiting to write down the details of the dream until later in the afternoon. If we let the feelings pass, we tend to let the understanding of the feelings pass so far, that we lose the ability to triangulate.

I wonder how 'they' say we are supposed to deal with this? 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' seems to come from the school of thought which also dictates that we suppress things, repress things, and let bitterness poison us. But what about the pacifists? Let it pass? Don't let the anger overtake us? I can agree with that, for sure, but there is a real need to recognize our own feelings for what they are, and even to understand where they come from, and where they might lead.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 10, 2008 at 9:12 PM and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

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